Jokes

Stone Surprise

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, 'My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard so I ran.'

Excited Man

One day a kid's mom and dad took him to a nude beach. The kid went to play in the water and came back a little while later and told his mom "I just saw a woman who had bigger things than you do mom." His mom replied "the bigger the woman's boobs the dumber the woman." So, the boy went out to play again, and came back a little while later and said to his mom "Mom, I just saw a man who has a bigger thing than Dad." His mom replied "The bigger the thing, the dumber the guy." So the kid went out to play again, then came back and told his mom "Daddy was talking to a woman, and he kept getting dumber and dumber."

Little Johnny

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, 'I need a man, I need a man!' Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, 'Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!'

Top Ten Reasons Studying Is Better Than Sex!

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early with-out feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser".
4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help!